Some students will fail high school this year. Unfortunately that is certain. Others will simply scrape through, and some will get marks their teachers are envious of.
Back to the question at hand – is anyone destined to fail? Ah… no.
They’re not.
Whilst it may seem painfully obvious who the students that are going to fail are, they are NOT destined to do so. (Not unless their exams start tomorrow and they haven’t started studying yet…)
If failing’s not pre-destined, what does it depend on?
While it may seem a bit reductionist, we believe the category a student falls into (failing/scraping through/true scholar) relies solely on their drive to do well.
No drive = no study = failing.
I implore you to find a student who truly wants to succeed, who is willing to put in the effort, but fails. I’d argue that there isn’t one!
My Favourite Success Story
If it seems like your teen is destined to fail high school you should find the following tale interesting…
This is a story we like to tell the students we tutor who think that they “can’t do it” or that they “suck at school”.
There was a severely dyslexic boy who went to a large high school in Auckland. In his first year he was put into the ‘O stream’ class – meaning there were 14 classes of ‘smarter’ kids than him.
Going against everything he was told, this boy decided he wanted to be a doctor. I’m sure if he told his teachers, they would have had no choice but to diplomatically damper this dream. Here was a kid completely flunking school, whose severe learning disability prevented him from anything but the most basic reading and writing.
No-one would have thought twice if he had quickly abandoned this preposterous idea, dropped out of high school, and sought a manual labour job.
But he didn’t. He persevered, struggled, and worked his way up to the ‘A class’ by his last year. He got into university, then managed to beat hundreds of other students into the medical program.
This may sound like a Hollywood movie – he ‘beat his demons’ to become an amazing student without trying. But that is most definitely not the case.
His dyslexia was so severe that right through high school and medical school he was given twice the amount of time of his peers to complete his theory exams (meaning six hour exams instead of three!). And while he didn’t get the best marks in his theory exams, his clinical work was among the best in the class.
That’s the power of drive.
Sort out drive, problem solved.
When we see that a student lacks drive and lacks reasons why they think they should try hard at school, we sort this out first. Only then can we get onto the nuts and bolts of studying.
Students need to be able to develop drive and motivation for themselves before they can start to ace their exams. Your role is to help them do this.
No-one is predestined to fail high school.
It’s all in our heads.
It’s all about drive.
Last question: What’s going to drive your teen?
Please leave a comment and share with us what drives your teen…
Image Credit: JoeInSouthernCA on Flickr
Tim G says
I argue that their is a chance some people are desstined to fail.
Such as myself, I was a smart kid in till Sophmore year. That year I started forgeting words I had previously used in a book I was writting and the meaning of words and using them escape me almost completly. My motivtion is none exsistint and I haven’t any talents I’m good at.
So is it all in my head? That I’m smart and still know all the knowlegde I use to. Doubtful since I’ve been trying to regain it but have yet to find any substantial ground to hold my position on.
Phillip says
THANK YOU!!!
Clare says
Hi Tim, I’m so sorry for the late reply! It sounds like you’ve been having a tough time with study, but I still don’t think this means you’re destined to fail anything. And I DEFINITELY don’t believe you don’t have any talent.
We all go through bumps in the road sometimes. If you’re lacking motivation have you asked yourself why? Maybe what you’ve been studying isn’t actually for you?
Without knowing you personally, I’d have to say it probably all is in your head, which is good because it means you can change things.
All the best Tim 🙂
rose says
Please help my daughter hates school is in the 11th grade and now just refuses to go. I don’t know how to help her and neither do her teachers.
Clare says
Hi Rose, I’ve replied to you via an email 🙂
Gabi says
I need help for my daughter. She is finishing Middle School and is going to high school next year. She’s had a tough time in middle school especially this past year. She is in the Special Education program that allows for her extra time to complete work and turn in assignments. She does not have a learning disability just loses focus easily but does not have ADD/ADHD. She lacks drive/motivation to do the work and complete homework. If the subject or lesson is something of interest to her she does wonderful, if it’s not, then she just puts no effort towards the lesson or work. They have given her aptitude tests equivalent to IQ tests and she scores above average, therefore she has the intelligence to do the work, learn the lessons and pass but she just lacks drive and motivation. She has goals to go to college and even career goals, but her principal and other advisors believe if she continues down the same path into high school she will fail school and not graduate.
What can I do to help her. She’s bright, happy and brilliantly creative but just shuts down when the lessons are not to liking.
Clare says
Hi there (sorry I don’t know your name!)
I tried emailing you but I think your inbox must be full as the email pinged straight back to me!
I want to say from the outset that I am not a psychologist, so all I can offer is advice from my own perspective based on what I know about students who do well at school.
It’s interesting that your daughter has goals of college and a career and yet is struggling with lessons she does not like. I say that because most unmotivated students don’t know what they want to do when they leave school and/or don’t see the ‘point’ in school. So with your daughter, I know this sounds incredibly obvious, but she if she is serious about wanting to go to college and have a good career in something, she will have to realise that any kind of work involves doing things we don’t necessarily enjoy, but we still have to do them. Once she realises that she won’t be able to do the things she DOES enjoy if she doesn’t spend a bit of time studying the things she doesn’t enjoy as much, this should fix her motivational problem. In saying that, I don’t know your daughter so it may not be this simple.
Maybe she would benefit from structuring her study in a way that makes studying the topics she doesn’t enjoy as much less painful. For example she could study the topics she doesn’t find as interesting first to get them out of the way, and then she can work on the things she does enjoy.
I’m sorry this advice is so generic, but this is a bit of a tricky problem, and it’s hard to give you a tangible solution. Ultimately I do believe she is just going to have to realise that we all have to do things we don’t enjoy as much, but that it is all worth it in the end because it means we also get to do the things we do enjoy.
If you have any other questions, please let me know.
I’ll look forward to hearing about your daughter’s progress.
Clare
David says
yes hi there, I don’t have any problems with school, I actually consider myself pretty bright and a hard worker, however even though I have a great drive to become a dentist one day and a strong heart set on what I want to do I cant seem to grasp why I cannot achieve in the level I want to. Like I said, I have been struggling to get the marks required in order to get into a good college, but it always eludes me, I’m in my final year, and I was hoping things would look up, so I did what most self-motivated students would do, keep my head up and persevere. Although my objective was plainly clear to see, it feels like I cant reach it because I’m not good enough, I tell myself day in and day out, I will get there….but when the results come rolling in all those sleepless nights of hard study and revision end up becoming something I began to dread, as when I look at my mark I get unsatisfactory. ….this has completely made me feel vulnerable as I feel like no matter how hard I study, no matter how much I work, there is just that gap I cant fill….. this is my final year, and I’m still motivated to become a dentist, its my dream, and I am hoping I can get to college, even if the scholarship is for one year…… even with all my efforts…… my results still end up below average, I’m sooooo frustrated…. ..I know I shouldn’t be complaining, and it should be my fault, but I am trying so hard that it impacts me physically and mentally, putting a strain that causes a build up of stress….I want to get into college and make my family proud, all their hopes and dreams along with mine are riding on my shoulders…….but right now I don’t even feel like I’m going to make it, it feels as if, I was meant to fail….and if I did, where do I go from there ? 🙁
Clare & Chris says
Hi David, I’m sorry you’re having trouble getting the grades it sounds you deserve. Sometimes we do study hard but don’t get the marks we thought we would, and this is really frustrating and can be demoralising. I think what you need to do is figure out where you’re going wrong more specifically. Exactly what subjects or topics are you not doing well in? Why is that? Are you not studying the right things? Are you not answering the question in the way the examiner wants you to? Are you not retaining information? There are many different reasons why you might not be getting the marks you deserve, so the only way you’re going to overcome this obstacle, is if you figure out what the problem is, and then work on that. It might feel overwhelming now, but it’s definitely not too late, so have a think about where it is you’re probably going wrong, and then try and improve on that. Remember that studying is a learnt skill, and one that we can all improve on. Best of luck, I’m sure you’ll get there soon 🙂
Nathan says
Hi am Nathan I have been driven to pass school from day 1 I was always on time handed all my work in and had a 4 hour study routine from year 7 am now in year 10, and I know now 100% I can’t pass even with all the work I put in my average is around 18% no joke yes I have goten HD but I have also gotten -8% no joke my work was so bad I lost marks so my problem is not drive all my teachers say I got lots I just can not some to get the marks am gona keep trying this year but I mean kids who don’t even study a singlrday day and play on there phones get 68% and I work my butt off and I can only accumulated 37% so in my eyes I am pre detained to fail but its not year 12 yet so am gona keep working and if I pass I will tell you all here.
Ruben says
Hi my name is ruben im a 15 year old sophomore in highschool i have terrible grades yet i know i can achieve better i dont know how to motivate myself in school or to do school work even , everyday seems like another pointless wasted amount of time i dont know how or what could drive me to be succesful and be an achiever , i do want to go to college but highschool seems depressing i dont know if i am depressed or not but i still only seem to have fun when im around family or friends PLEASE HELP
Clare & Chris says
Hi Ruben. I’m sorry you’re finding school hard at the moment. Don’t worry – you’re not alone. The good news is high school isn’t forever. I would say just do your best, and one day you’ll figure out what you want to do. Don’t worry if you don’t figure it out at school though. Lots of people don’t figure it out until way after they finish school! Also, you might not feel like you’re getting much out of high school, but I’m sure you’re learning a lot without realising it. Try and keep working on the things that you do like, whatever they are, and just do your best at everything else. It will all work out in the end!
Noah says
Hey my name is Noah i don’t even know why I’m posting on this website but I’m a 11th grader and I have failed most of my 10th grade work and I honestly just want to give up I can’t deal with highschool its to much for me at this moment and I just don’t know if I should even try any more
Clare & Chris says
Hey Noah. Don’t worry you’re not alone – high school can be really tough. You just have to do your best, and the everything else will work out. You don’t need to get top marks in school to be ‘successful’. You’ve got plenty of time to discover what your passion in life is. It takes most of us much longer than high school to figure out what that is. Hang in there 🙂
Joe Bigliogo says
That wasn’t very practical advice given the pain and frustration he’s suffering. Your responses amounts to no advice. To just put up with it and maybe things will work out on their own… somehow. How on earth do you know this? If I were Noah I’d first look to see if there was anything I could change to improve the situation, am I putting forth reasonable effort, am I in a frame of mind able to focus or do I suffer from some attention deficit? Am I depressed or anxious? If so I’d be getting some professional help because nothing cripples the ability to learn more effectively than depression.
I’d also push for change from the school side. Maybe his teachers are not good at making course material understood for some students… or they speak too fast… or the course he is taking is not suited to his aptitudes or maybe it’s just too difficult for his abilities. I don’t know what people in his life are doing to help but I’d be putting him in a school and courses of study suited to his abilities. And most of all Id be working on enhancing his areas of strength (not his weaknesses) since those are where his self-esteem and success in life are bound to come from.
Joe Bigliogo says
One completely obvious factor that determines grade success is… intelligence. Rarely if ever acknowledged and mostly downplayed, educators will instead tell you that it’s always something you are not doing, whether it’s inadequate study, improper prioritization or you are somehow not applying yourself. Bottom line their culture of blame always makes it your fault even if you cannot comprehend things beyond your intelligence level. Yet take these same educators and psychologists and ask them to learn advanced quantum physics, string theory or membrane physics and they’ll tell you they simply are incapable of comprehending it.
But if you find calculus or business math too advanced for your ability to comprehend those folks never give you the same benefit of the doubt and instead hurl blame at you by the crap loads. They are oblivious to their own hypocrisy. The only rational solution is to set you up in courses appropriate for your level of ability, intelligence and aptitude. Focus on your strengths and spend the time building on them to the point where your weaknesses are not so important. Sounds simple doesn’t it. But it’s anathema to western education which prefers instead to waste enormous time, energy and resources trying to marginally improve your areas of weakness. While your strengths go mostly ignored.
This single minded fixation on human weakness, free will and blame is pervasive in Christian culture even among the academics and education specialists who ought to know better. It brings to mind Roger water’s line in Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’…
“When we grew up and went to school,
There were certain teachers who would hurt the children in any way they could,
By pouring their derision upon anything we did,
And exposing every weakness however carefully hidden by the kids”.
We are left with a generation of angry, frustrated, demoralized, students with self esteem problems who’s abilities and greatest strengths were never realized because educators are spending too much time blaming, finding fault and wasting far too much time on students’s areas of lowest ability.
Kishita says
I’m in my senior year of high school and my final exams are a week away. I don’t think i will be able to pass in mathematics and i don’t have enough time to practice enough to be able to solve hard questions. I can just do simple ones. Still for some reason I can’t study or concentrate. I waste time worrying even though I know it will do nothing. I’m just not able to. Maybe i don’t want to.
Clare & Chris says
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head Kishita – I would focus on the easier questions so that you at least pass. Don’t even worry about the harder questions. I would try setting mini goals for yourself to help you concentrate. For example, tell yourself that in the next hour you’re going to complete 20 quadratic equations (or whatever applies to you). Then have a quick break, and set yourself a new target. A week is definitely long enough to get over the line – you can do it!!